I am so bored and I do not want to clean. There is ALWAYS something to do in my home. My family makes sure of that. I have been threatening to throw there stuff away for so long I think they think I am lying and I am not actually going to do it, because even my husband continues to leave his stuff laying around the house and lays on the couch/his bed THE ENTIRE time he is home. Last week I cleared off the kitchen counter and threw stuff away that did not go in there and he was sooo mad. I told him I had been asking him to put his stuff away for 2 months if it was not gone that was not my problem. He began to yell at me and I told him yep lets get all mad at me over stuff you did not find important. Well Today he is going to get extremely mad. SO much so I am expecting retaliation. You see for over a month I gather up all the stuff in the living room and put in rubbermaid totes so he can carry it around and put his stuff away or take it downstairs and throw it in one of the fourteen rubbermaid totes he has downstairs but he keeps telling me he will do but another day. When I ask him what day he will have it done by he refuses to answer. The times he has given me when he has already came and gone.
My home really makes me miserable. We have seen a counselor who gave up trying to counsel us because he said Jt will need to change or I will have to learn to be happy living in a disgusting cluttered home.
I am constantly praying for help, I am constantly fasting to feel like I love him. I have spoken to my bishop and the bishop supposedly spoke to him about it. he works on little changes for three whole days then "poof" back to a couch decoration.
Its seems to really be nagging me when we get lessons about how our home should be temples and places of safety and refuge. I can not walk around my home barefoot and my shins have bruises all over them. The church members come in and ask me where does this where does that go when they come over to help but in all honestly I do not know because I am sick of putting it away over and over and over again. Since the bishop says its workable because JT is working on it ( when he did for three whole days) I am gonna do it my way. He rebuys everything and does not look for it, so everything is just going into the trash.
Ok I threw a bunch of stuff out in the tote mostly magazines and kept a few items I did not have the heart to throw away because I was afraid it might be crossing a line. :(